Author's Note: This piece is a cause and effect on when my tire popped when I was biking. It also incorporates the struggles I had to get home.
It was a scorching day in Pewaukee but my friends and I didn’t care. It was summer we weren’t going to sit at home and do nothing we had to hang out or go on an adventure so we chose to bike to downtown Dealifeild and go get some lunch. The bike ride was quite warm but very enjoyable capitalized by a great view. The last stretch of the ride was very tiring but once you got to the top of the hill you could see to what seem as forever. Then comes the fun part, the ride down the huge hill. As I started down the hill I felt like I was flying. As I kept crusing I felt my bike drift off the the end of the asphalt. Pop the tire was totaled I looked to my friend in fear.
It was a scorching day in Pewaukee but my friends and I didn’t care. It was summer we weren’t going to sit at home and do nothing we had to hang out or go on an adventure so we chose to bike to downtown Dealifeild and go get some lunch. The bike ride was quite warm but very enjoyable capitalized by a great view. The last stretch of the ride was very tiring but once you got to the top of the hill you could see to what seem as forever. Then comes the fun part, the ride down the huge hill. As I started down the hill I felt like I was flying. As I kept crusing I felt my bike drift off the the end of the asphalt. Pop the tire was totaled I looked to my friend in fear.
As we got to where we were going to eat lunch I quickly
called my dad to see if he would pick me up. I didn’t get a response so it
looked like I was going to have to ride my bike home on a flat tire. As easy as
it sounds I decided to try it little did I know I was having troubles after the
first one hundred yards and I wasn’t even close to home. Finally after about an
hour of peddling I got home just in time for football!
You did a good job putting the feel of the bike ride. I think you should've made the cause/ effect more clear.
ReplyDeleteI think that your word choice and emotion was good but i think that if you would have explained the cause and effect more, your piece would have been better.
ReplyDelete